Teasers (1993) from Brainscan


Nine gals take off their clothes. Seven of them do bang-up triple B performances; and for those who like the sight of bare naked tushies, eight of the gals do the shakin'-the-booty thang. One of the gals is the goddess of B movies, Julie Strain, and several others (Lisa Comshaw, Ashlie Rhey, Amy Rochelle, Lauren Hays and Melanie Armstrong) went on to be staples of the B movie industry.

The litany of stripping goes like this:

  • Amy Rochelle starts out as a French maid. Triple B. This was early Amy, when her body was perfect and composed entirely of carbon compounds, not that silicone shit.
  • Annette Burger has the longest stripping scene... almost ten minutes in duration. And I can see why. Terrific rumpus and a pair of robo-hooters that are actually pretty darn attractive. Gal did two other movies, both erotic thrillers and got nekkid in them, too.
  • Ashlie Rhey starts off dressed like a school girl. Not for long. Triple B of Ashlie very early in her career.
  • Holly Spencer plays the cop stripper. Worst camera work of all the gals... not much to cap, even though she is more than okay looking.
  • Julie Strain was 30 when she made this movie, but she looks fantastic. Triple B, with the accent on the rear half of the sheebang.
  • Lisa Comshaw, also early in her career and looking mighty fine, if you ask me. Triple B
  • Melinda Armstrong, wearing a wig of short brown hair. Melinda was the focus of the Bikini Summer movies and has done a lot of strip and wiggle disks. Here she strips. And she wiggles. But even though she takes off her knickers, there's another pair of knickers underneath them. WTF?
  • Melody Johnson plays the original stripper. Not much of her bum shown, but her frontal surface is most well-photographed.
The plot of  "Teasers" goes like this:

(I don't mean a summary of the plot, or an overview of the plot. I mean the plot. Would be safer to say, "screenplay of the movie goes like this.")

Two college guys who look 35 go into a titty bar to celebrate something or other. Gal strips (she is played by Melody Johnson, a pale blonde who moves as though this was the not the first time she'd taken off her clothes in public). Drunk guy next to them gets up, walks away and leaves his credit card behind. College guys take credit card... because they wouldn't mind if someone took a credit card of theirs and used it for his own purposes, nope not one little bit. They go home and call up seven strippers to come over and do their jobs.

All seven do. Cops show up after number 7. Take boys down to the station (which, remarkably enough, has the very same carpet as their living room), where the female cop proceeds to strip and the boys are let loose, sadder but wiser or happier and stupider. I'm not sure which.

That's it. All the plot development of My Dinner With Andre done by mimes. Maybe less.

On the other hand:

If you have never seen a direct-to-video erotic thriller and plan never to do so, but you want to see what the women in those movies look like naked, this is the tape for you.

The Critics Vote ...

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The People Vote ...

  • The budget was a whopping $75,000
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

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