Suckers (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Suckers is actually two completely different movies fused together. Imagine Used Cars and True Romance combined into one movie.

On the one hand, it's an R-rated black comedy about the car business, and this part of the flick is not bad at all. There is one scene that sums it up perfectly. A family comes back to the car dealership, having paid too much for a car. Their credit union told them that they would either have to buy the car or feed their children, but not both. They bring in the whole family, including dirty-faced kids in rags. The salesman is touched, takes the issue up with the sales manager. The sales manager seems to be touched, and goes back to the cubicle, only to tell the customer that he signed and is therefore fucked. The script is written by a guy who actually worked as a car salesman. In fact, the DVD extras actually include a lecture by the writer, "how not to get screwed when buying a car"

On the other hand, the rest of the film is one of those things where several different guys all end up in a small room together, all pointing guns at each other, and firing away. The flimsy premise is that they are using the dealership to sell and transport dope, and various other criminal parties find out how much money is in the safe.

That was lame, to say the least, and seemed to be tacked on to the real movie as an afterthought.


Karen King appeared completely naked from every angle in daylight, as a customer who stole a car after screwing the salesman. 

Lori Loughlin's character was naked in a dark sex scene, but it is not possible to identify her.

Lisa Lewis showed her breasts and buns in an energetic sex scene in a convertible.

DVD info from Amazon.

see comments to the right

The DVD has an incredible amount of features for a movie you never heard of.
  • It has a widescreen 2.35:1 transfer, but the image quality is not very good - dark and blurry.
  • It has the "how to buy a car" lecture mentioned above.
  • It has two separate commentary tracks - one from the director, one from the actors.
  • It has some material from the director's earlier career: a short film and a trailer from another picture.

The Critics Vote

  • no reviews online

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 5.3 
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C. Cruel, informative, sometimes hilarious black comedy with an unnecessary violent crime sub-plot.

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