Ski Wolf


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

OK. It's a skiing comedy. Now that you know that, guess the plot.

If you thought anything else besides "Lovable dweebs and stoners have to keep snobby rich dudes from taking over the mountain," shame on you. I guess there is no other possible plot for a skiing comedy. I'll bet I've seen ten would-be comedies about skiing and snowboarding, and they all revolve around that very same premise.

This one does have a slight twist to it. One of the lovable losers turns into a werewolf and

spoiler alert.

eventually decapitates and disembowels some of the snobs.

end spoilers

As ski comedies go, this makes that awful one with Tom Green look like an episode of Masterpiece Theater. The acting in this film is so over-the-top that it makes the cast of F-Troop seem like the Royal Shakespeare Company. The bad guy is so one-dimensionally evil that he makes Mr. Burns seem as lovable and sincere as Jimmy Stewart. Except Mr. Burns is funny when he's over-the-top. Trent Zaaga is just hyperactive. If this script had been produced in 1966, Larry Storch would have played Trent's role ...

... and would have been more subtly nuanced.

You haven't heard the worst news. The acting is much stronger than the script. And the script beats the hell out of the production values. If you look at the image in the DVD section, you can see the gritty realism of the werewolf make-up.

The film does have one thing which we have to consider a positive from the point of view of celebrity nudity: a four minute sex scene involving a woman with freakishly large natural breasts. The woman in question is an adult film star and model named Alix Lakehurst. (And a definite Oscar contender.)

So it has that goin' for it. That's the only positive other than the fact that the ... er ... "film" is only 71 minutes long including the credits on both ends, so the agony is brief ...

... but still agonizing.


* no widescreen

* bare bones







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Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is an: