Pool Party


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

A law firm slacker has been dumped by his girlfriend, is ridiculed by his boss, and has failed the bar exam twice. His legal briefs are so poorly constructed that the head of the law firm has them rewritten by his 20-year-old son. The only reason why our hero Matt is still employed is that the boss wants to use him to house-sit. The boss is leaving town for five days and Matt is assigned to watch the house and is given an ultimatum: take care of the house, allow no visitors, and use the five days to study for the bar. If the house is not perfect when the boss returns, Matt is fired. Even if the house is perfect, if Matt fails the bar again, he's still fired.

Needless to say, the boss's two kids want to use the luxurious house to have lavish parties, and various other slackers and stoners do their best to congregate at the pool. Matt has only sporadic success in preventing the revelers from wreaking havoc on his boss's property. Worst of all, the house is terrorized by Bingo the Monkey Clown, who seems to be pursuing the boss's sexy teenage daughter.

You don't want to spend any time on this film. It's a careless, unoriginal cheapie made with inferior production values and hammy, amateurish actors. No cliché is left unturned, and some ideas are introduced then forgotten. On the one hand, it tries to be a merry, raunchy lark, ala Bachelor Party, but it comes up short in both the wit of the script and the professionalism of the performances. On the other hand, the script tries to develop some meaningful storylines about Matt's career and his attempts to get back with his ex-girlfriend, but those sub-plots tend to be just throwaways. In other words, The Pool Party would like to combine sincerity and raunch like American Pie, but ends up being more like one of the straight-to-vid Pie sequels. Except nowhere near as good.


Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:



  • Breasts and thong, while standing in clear light, from Meredith Giangrande

  • Sarah Horvath: Breasts in clear indoor light and full rear nudity in sunlight.

  • An anonymous woman is seen naked from the rear through a frosted shower glass.



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6.8 IMDB summary (of 10)
  That score is the result of ballot stuffing at IMDb. It should be in the fours, maybe even lower.



* widescreen