Out of Line (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This is a tedious non-theatrical Jennifer Beals film about a tough female parole officer who falls for one of her parolees. This movie doesn't just suck. It sucks through a flavor straw, then throws out the flavor straw and sucks through one of those twisted pretzel-like straws that little kids like. It sucks harder than a guy trying to get the poison out of a snake bite.



DVD info from Amazon.

bare bones

(1) Turns out the con seduced her as part of a complicated mob scheme. All of his seduction schemes were totally transparent, and she fell for them, although she was supposed to be smart. I did love when he kept showing up at the opera after he found out she was an opera buff. "Hey, I love it when dat clown was cryin". It was obvious that this guy's cultural interests were bogus, and that he thought that the catcher in the rye was Campy's back-up for the Dodgers, but she completely bought it.

(2) But it further turns out that he really did fall in love with her, gosh darn it.

Cheapozoid grade-b melodrama all the way, with uninteresting and unrealistic characterizations. Weak film, weak DVD.

The Critics Vote

  • no reviews.

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary. Not enough votes to produce a rating, but currently rated a perfect 1.0 out of 10 (lowest possible) by one man, and a perfect 10.0 our of 10 (highest possible) by one woman, setting an unbreakable record for chick-flickatude
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a Z. OK, maybe it is an E. No reaon to watch it, that I can come up with.

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