Kiss Me Quick! (1964) from Tuna

Kiss Me Quick! (1964) was the first feature film produced by Harry Novak, and the first monster/nudie cutie ever. Harry finally decided to produce something himself after 20 years in film distribution. He teamed with two men named Frank Perry and Max Gardens. They owned 50%, 40% and 10% respectively. Perry also directed, although he never used his real name when working on nudies, and is credited here as Seemore Tukas. Gardens, who also appears in the film, owned only one theater at the time, but went on to own more than hundred, including the Pussycat Theaters. After the film's success, Novak bought out his partners, and Boxoffice International was born. Harry was known as the master of foreign distribution, and is still distributing his films to the foreign market.

The film was shot in 6 days over two weekends for a very simple reason. IF they rented the camera equipment on Friday, they paid for one day, but didn't have to return it till Monday. All of the editing was done in camera, and the titles and credits were done with voice-over to save even more money. The excellent photography is no accident, since the DP was none other than the great Hungarian cinematographer László Kovács, who had no yet been able to break into the union.


see the main commentary
The story is simple, and not really the point, which is T & A. On a faraway planet, there is only one sex, but they become interested in Earth Women because they would like a slave class to do all their work. One of them is sent to Earth to obtain a perfect specimen as breeding stock. From there the film is nearly non-stop T & A, punctuated by bad jokes (mostly puns), and the appearance of a mummy, Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein. Universal owned everything about Frankenstein at the time, but Harry was never contacted about his infringement.

DVD info from Amazon

  • This is half of another great release from the folks at Something Weird Video, and is an excellent transfer. There is also a fascinating commentary with Harry Novak, who talks more about his history, and the early history of exploitation, then he does the film.

  • Six Archival Short Subjects: "Kiss Me Quick!" girls in "Hot Hot Skin" and "Nudie Watusi," Natasha in "Natasha's Suburban Sexercise" and "Natasha in Strip Tease Queen," plus "Werewolf Bongo Party" and "The Vampire and the Vixen"

  • Full-screen format

The women were as follows:

  • Boobra, played by Natasha, a famous LA stripper. Boobs and buns.
  • Kissme, played by Jackie De Witt. Boobs and buns.
  • Barebra, played by Bebe. Boobs, bush and Buns.
  • Hottie Tottie played by Claudia Banks. Boobs
  • Gertie Tassle, played by Althea Currier. Boobs
  • G. G. String, played by Dona. Boobs and buns.
  • Lotta Cash, played by Lucky. Boobs, and bush through sheer panties.

The one-name girls, other than Natasha, were "Columbia Slaves," that is, Columbia Pictures contract players, who were moonlighting in soft-core for the extra money, since their day job involved hard work and little money. Hence, they could not use their real names in the credits.

The Critics Vote

The People Vote ...

IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, C+. It delivers exactly what it is supposed to deliver, woman-flesh. It is especially un-PC. At the end of the film, "Dr. Breedlove" (producer Max Gardens doubling as an actor) gets a new shipment of women. As they enter down a chute, he labels them Prime, Choice, OK, Kosher, etc. It is, in short, a nearly perfect genre effort.

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