The Keeper


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

You don't really read many positive things about Steven Seagal, but we must give the devil his due. The man has an excellent work ethic. He churns out a lot of movies, and his characters are not the kind of roles where he can memorize five lines, work one day, then leave. He is generally onscreen for virtually the entire running time, and often combines his acting with producing and writing credits, as he does here.

In this one he plays, as is his wont, an ex-supercop. It's the typical Seagal set-up. While saving the world from destruction and maintaining the honor of his profession, the Weighty Warrior inevitably comes into conflict with those whose ethical standards are less evolved than his own, a group of people who taken together would form a rather lengthy list encompassing Mother Theresa and Buddha. The official Seagal character considers Gandhi and Jesus to be corrupt slimeballs. Rather than compromise his sense of justice, he must then resign, get fired, or be placed on disability leave on some lame pretext. ("You can't save the world with that hangnail.") This, of course, increases his sense of resigned world-weariness up to approximately the Philip Marlowe level, but also fortunately frees him up to take on exotic special assignments which require his special blend of unimpeachable integrity, ass-kicking ability and multiple chins.

This time, however, there is a twist. He learns to experience the new economic reality alongside the rest of us. He is unemployed for nearly 35 seconds! Yup, his cell phone rings and he actually gets an incredibly lucrative job offer from an old friend while he is still talking to his police supervisor about being placed on his usual phony-baloney disability leave. But those 35 seconds of unemployment were clearly the most traumatic 35 seconds of his life, and that hardship really helped to build his character.

Anyway, he moseys down to Texas at the behest of his old chum, and ends up doing his usual stuff: helping old ladies cross the street, standing up for minorities, defending the weak and innocent, and helping the poor, the tired, and the huddled masses as they strive to breathe free. Of course, he does all this while kicking the redneck asses of an enormous number of white bullies and no-goodniks. As the body count mounts, he eventually resolves the problems he has been hired to combat, mainly by the process of elimination, since he kills every other white anglo guy in San Antonio.

The film has an odd ending. There is a long gun battle between the heavily armed evildoers and Seagal's rag-team team of Mexicans with Civil War rifles. Seagal wins, of course. And then that's it. The film ends. No discussion, no wrap-up, no wise words, no post-mortem of any kind. Just a shoot-out followed by closing credits.

The big guy has 34 films on his "sort by ratings" page at IMDb, and this is rated 7th highest (6th among the true Seagal movies). I've seen nearly all of his films, and I'd place it a bit lower than that, probably near the middle, although I might have been more favorably disposed if it had come up with some kind of satisfying ending. Given that Seagal is his own sub-genre, those ratings mean that this film is watchable for his fan base.



No major reviewers covered the film, but there are a handful of genre sites linked from the IMDb page.





5.4 IMDB summary (of 10)




Straight to DVD




As usual in Seagal flicks, there is no nudity from the female leads, but is some fleeting topless nudity from assorted bit players.

  • Alexandra Morrow
  • Angela Serrano
  • Unknown

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a: