A Feast of Flesh


by Tuna

A Feast of Flesh is a hooker/vampire offering from the husband and wife team of Amy Lynn Best (producer) and Mike Watt (writer/director). They wanted to make something commercial. Amy grew up loving The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, and had always wanted to play a madam, so she suggested a "vampire hookers vs. mercenaries" film with her as the madam. When Mike Watt decided to give the head vampire hunter an Irish accent, he knew he would play that role, and the basic conflict was decided, a group of IRA mercenaries vs. a house of vampire hookers.

A young couple, about to be married, wants to experience a threesome, and their friend also wants to get another friend laid to get over his girlfriend that left him and headed out of town. He wins an invite, the only way to get into the house, in a poker game. Meanwhile, the very same ex-girlfriend was attacked on her way out of town, and rescued by one of the vampires. The events set thus in motion will lead to chaos. The IRA mercenaries previously had an agreement with this particular house: they would leave the vampires alone if they would not recruit or attack locals. The vamps had no idea the ex-girlfriend was a local, but the head of the mercenaries was looking for an excuse to take them out anyway.

Those who enjoy finding goofs will have a field day here, such as a straight beating a full house, but I did not find any of those lapses to be distracting.  The problems are offset by copious nudity and entertaining splatter with some good gore effects. My personal favorite is in the opening scene, where a vampire rips a man's face off and the rescued girl asks, "can you teach me to do that?"

The filmmakers clearly were not going to let tradition get in the way of telling a good story and, by offering some new twists on vampire legends, they were trying for a unique approach to the vampire vs. hunter story. They succeeded admirably. There are also times when the film betrays its small budget, but on the whole, it's both competent and entertaining.


    This marks the first time Happy Cloud Productions has included nudity in a film, and it features breast exposure from Amy Lynn Best, Lesley Vernot, Zoe Hunter and Rachelle Williams. There are also male buns.


There are no reviews online.


Straight to DVD


n/a IMDB summary (of 10)
  (IMDb, as of this writing, still lists it as IN PRODUCTION, hence there are no votes or reviews.)

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


I found this film quite watchable, despite having sworn never to watch another vampire film. This is a solid C. Any horror lover should see it.


* Slated for release on Nov. 06, 2007 from The Bloody Earth Films branch of AI.

Pre-order here, at the film's official home page