Diamond Hunters (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

What was the use of my having come from Oakland it was not natural to have come from there yes write about it if I like or anything if I like but not there, there is no there there.

--- GERTRUDE STEIN, Everybody’s Autobiography, p. 289 (1937, reprinted 1971) ---

Diamond Hunters was probably a big hit in Oakland, because there isn't much there there either. Two half-brothers struggle for control of a diamond empire in South Africa. It's your basic nighttime soap opera with rich people struggling for power, scheming, and playing musical beds. In fact, it was a mini-series which has been condensed from 180 minutes to 101 to make it a movie-length DVD.


Jolene Blalock shows her breasts from the side in two very dark scenes.

DVD info from Amazon

  • no features

  • widescreen anamorphic

Dynasty and Dallas became popular television shows because viewers watched them regularly and established an identification with the characters. Imagine if you had never watched an episode of Dallas and then just caught one in the middle of the series. Do you think it would be very interesting? Well, you can find out if you care to. Duplicate that exact experience by watching this film full of B-list actors, which has conveniently been transferred to DVD in a TV aspect ratio, probably from a video tape original, to create the maximum soap opera atmosphere.

The Critics Vote ...

  • No major reviews online. No minor ones, for that matter.

The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a D or E. Drivel. Basically just a 100 minute nighttime soap opera.

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