Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo (2005) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This film manages to milk 80-90 minutes of "humor" out of about a half dozen comic premises:

1. It's funny to come up with new words for male body parts and sexual functions, as they would be used in the high-stakes gigolo trade, if such a thing really existed on the same mass-market level as female prostitution: mangina, shenis, man-bitch, mouth to south, etc.

2. It's even funnier to have Eddie Griffin constantly caught in positions that force him to deny that he's gay. When he's accused of being a gay murderer, he doesn't care about the murderer part.

3. It's fun to rename  outrageous sexual faux-practices like the Dirty Sanchez. For example, calling a sexual specialty a "Filthy Lopez" is side-splittingly hilarious. And don't even get me started on a Copenhagen Steamer.

4. Eddie Griffin looks funny in outrageous Halloween disguises. 

5. Nothing is wackier than obsessive-compulsive disorder. (Actually, that one might work as a comic premise for the Farrelly Brothers, but it seems to be out of Rob Schneider's reach.)

6. Asians have small penises.

7. Everything is legal in Amsterdam.

That's about it, except for the "women with physical deformities" humor derived directly from the first Deuce Bigalow. Among the Deucemeister's clients, one woman has enormous ears, another has a penis for a nose, and so forth.

The critics, for reasons seemingly inexplicable, did not think the formula was strong enough to justify an expenditure of $22 million dollars. Can you believe it? Producer Adam Sandler obviously disagreed, and managed to find investors somewhere, or maybe financed it out of his pocket change, or something.  Sandler was not entirely deluded in his belief. While the film did not become a hit, it did somehow take in $22 million at the box office. Once the suits finish selling off the various rights and tying up the packages, this project might manage to break even or better, and I'm sure Rob Schneider was more than happy to pocket the hefty paychecks which Sandler must have made out to him in his capacities as head writer and lead actor.

That might be depressing if you think about it too much.

As for my opinion? Well, I think you go into a Rob Schneider movie or a David Spade movie with a certain set of expectations. Within the reasonable limits of those parameters, this film is about what you would expect. It's filled with lowest-brow humor and juvenile gross-outs, all of which disguises a certain sappy sweetness. It is certainly on the usual Schneider Scale, albeit at the lower end of that scale because it stretches its comic ideas much too thin and repeats its jokes far too often. had an excellent summary:

If the repeated use of the phrase "man-whore" is your recipe for hilarity, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is your movie. Rob Schneider returns as the hapless male prostitute, in this case lured back into the man-whore lifestyle in order to investigate the killings of European man-whores. His former pimp T.J. has set up shop in Amsterdam, where he finds himself accused of both the man-whore murders and of being a homosexual. From this slender, ridiculous premise springs dozens of gags about flatulence, breasts, and male sexual organs--in fact, the number of phallus stand-ins (noses, swords, man-whore of the year awards) would seem excessive to Aristophanes.

On the other hand, if you are somehow deluded into renting this DVD by thinking it's a film from Kenneth Branagh or The Coen Brothers, you might end up a bit disappointed.



  • The widescreen transfer is anamorphically enhanced (16x9)
  • various featurettes
  • two short deleted scenes


  • There is a topless weather girl on Dutch TV.

  • Katie Downes appears in a wet t-shirt pressed against glass.

  • A character named Ilsa is topless from the side in a flashback.

The Critics Vote ...

  • Roger Ebert: NO stars.

  • British consensus out of four stars: one star. Mail 2/10, Telegraph 2/10, Independent 2/10, Guardian 6/10, Times 2/10, Sun 5/10, Express 2/10, Mirror 2/10, BBC 1/5.

The People Vote ...

  • Box Office Mojo. It was budgeted at $22 million for production. It grossed $22 million in  the USA and $21 million overseas.
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, it's a C-, on the lower end of the Schneider Scale, but watchable for fans. If you don't like Schneider, you'll like him even less than usual.

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