Dark Descent (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Wow. Whatever happened to Dean Cain? I know he was never on the Jack Nicholson star level, but it seems like just a couple years ago that he was a popular TV star and a prized talk show guest. Now he's in so many bad straight-to-video movies that he's like a good looking Michael Madsen.

This movie is pretty much the same movie as Sean Connery's Outland, which in turn was pretty much the same movie as the classic Western High Noon. In fact, the plot and even the dialogue are so similar to the Gary Cooper classic that it could be called High Tech Noon.


Early in the movie, there is an extra whose butt is visible

The female star, Biliana Petrinska, shows her nipples very briefly

Dean Cain is a federal marshal who represents the only law in a mining outpost deep under the ocean. Three vicious baddies are coming to kill him on the noon submarine. (Yes, they actually call it that.) Eventually all the marshal's friends desert him and he must face the baddies alone.  Since the film takes place underwater, there is no natural light, and it has a low-budget claustrophobic look, with much of the action taking place in narrow corridors.

at this moment, the film is a Blockbuster rental exclusive

There were a few good moments. I laughed out loud at one moment of comic relief:

Boss: when I told you to stop those guys, I didn't mean for you to blow up a 372 million dollar facility.

Dean Cain: let's hope it doesn't come to that, but just in case, if you own any stock in the company, this would be a good time to sell

Talk about insider trading! 

The Critics Vote

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The People Vote ...

  • IMDB summary. IMDb voters score it 5.5/10 (insignificant number of voters)
  • with their dollars: straight to vid
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a D. Too predictable. It might have redeemed itself with a good ending, but it devolved into 30 minutes of mindless gunfire and explosions

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