Baby on Board


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Baby on Board is a straight-to-DVD romantic comedy that would embarrass Hudson and McConaughey, thus opening up the lead roles to their second-rate doppelgangers, Heather Graham and Jerry O'Connell. The obligatory wisecracking sidekick is played by John Corbett, who is the second-rate Edward Burns, who in turn is the second-rate Ben Affleck, which would either make Corbett the third or fourth rate Affleck, depending on the proper celebrity math. Either way it ain't good, considering that Affleck himself is a few "rates" shy of the big leagues.

In a nutshell:

Bin Laden has made better films than this.

Not only are his films better, but they are both funnier and more romantic.

Moreover, bin Laden makes his films for a few bucks. This film had Heather Graham and an eight million dollar budget, and didn't seem to know what to do with either. 

The entire comic premise, such as it is, hinges on the false impressions that usually form the basis for bad comedy. Graham and Jerry O'Connell play a power couple. Yes, Heather plays an executive VP. She was probably cast by the same people who gave us Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist. O'Connell plays a high-powered lawyer, and the two of them have a great relationship, and for that matter a great life, but everything goes haywire when she gets pregnant. He thinks she must have been cheating on him, because he always double-bagged the condoms. She thinks he must be cheating on her, because ... er ... the script requires her to do so.

It's just annoying from start to finish.

Just one other point. Lara Flynn Boyle is in this in a minor role and I just noticed that she must have a larger head than Keith Olbermann, Warren Burger, or Tip O'Neill. And those guys all have large bodies, while Lara's head is essentially stuck on top of a broomstick.



  • Heather Prete, as a stripper who makes house calls, is topless briefly.


30 (of 100)






4.5 IMDB summary (of 10)

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


Blu-Ray DVD