Oh, I don't know about these.
I think there is a lot of ad feminum backlash in here,
directed at the person and not at her performance. Rosie
O'Donnell is not Dame Edith Evans, but she wasn't all that
terrible playing herself, more or less. Ditto Madonna and Whoopi.
In the case of Binoche, it is a case of
English Patient backlash. People hate that movie so much they
just feel a need to lash out at the nearest symbol, so I think Binoche's votes are therapeutic. I understand completely. The Rose is
the same kind of movie - awful weeper that your wife's best
friend heard about in her book club, and you ended up sitting
through it. Am I right? I didn't hate English Patient or The Rose
that much, but I feel that way about other movies.
I can't comment on Cyndi Lauper, the Spice Girls, or Julia Sweeney. I am going to try to see Cyndi Lauper in
"Vibes" some day. It sounds like it really could be my
kind of movie, the kind you watch while stoned, so you
don't miss any of its intrinsic silliness. On the other hand, I think
there is a very slim possibility that I will ever see those
other two movies, so I will choose to remain in the dark. I suspect
that none of you have actually seen that Spice Girl movie and that there is an anti-Spice vote on general principles.
I probably should condemn that, but I actually
commend it. Sometimes the facts stand in the way of a greater
I was sorta surprised to see Cindy Crawford on the list.
Although I don't see Lady Macbeth in her future, I didn't think
she was all that hold-your-nose bad in "Fair Game." I
also was surprised to see Faye Dunaway get so much support. She
was over-the-top in that movie, but Joan Crawford was
over the top, way over, and Faye got her down pretty well.
The ones that I think are really bad, more or less in my
- My worst: Lily Tomlin in "Moment by Moment".
Lily is good at what she does. Romantic drama ain't it.
Her case wasn't helped by the fact that she had to say
the line "oh, Strip" (the name of Travolta's
character) about a zillion times. My colleague Lawdog once wrote that
Spielberg would vote for Scorcese as best director. Well,
Lily is a bright woman, and I'll bet she'd vote for
herself in this poll. It is embarrassing to watch.
- Close behind: nemorable bimbo Anna Nichole Smith certainly deserves her place in the top 10.
- Sofia Coppola in "Godfather, Part Whatever."
The best example of the evils of nepotism since Caligula
got the big job.
- Pia Zadora in "The Lonely Lady". This
performance has a surreal quality about it, like Pia
really didn't understand how bad the lines were, or how
poorly she was delivering them.
- Elizabeth Berkley's performance has a different kind of surreal
quality. She has no emotional range at all, and even
fewer facial expressions than Antonioo Banderas or Cybil Shepherd.
In fact, she makes Banderas and Shepherd seem as animated
as Olivier and Vivian Leigh. I used to play a drinking
game with the neighbors. I would tape
"Moonlighting", choose some freeze-frames, and
they would have to guess the emotion Cybil was trying to
convey in that scene. (Can't be done. Try it and see.)
I think Berkley must be the new queen of the frozen
- Ali MacGraw in "Love Story." Ali never got any
good, but she made some progress as she got older. Sadly,
she had no clue at that stage in her life.
- I don't know if Shelley Long is all that bad. I find her
so irritating that I can't watch her long enough to
figure out if she can act. I think you're right, though,
to place her here.
- Jessica Lange in "King Kong". (She was one vote
shy of the list). I really admire Jessica. She is the
Pete Rose of acting. With absolutely zero natural
ability, she became one of the best actresses of the 20th
century. Goes to show that intelligence and hard work
still have great value. "King Kong" stands as
her "before" picture, allowing us to see how
far she came.
Here's your list: (four or more votes)
- Rosie O'Donnell, Exit to Eden
- The Spice Girls, Spice World
- Anna Nichole Smith, Skyscraper
- Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls
- Cindy Crawford, Fair Game
- Bo Derek, Bolero
- Sofia Coppola, Godfather, Part 3
- Lily Tomlin, Moment by Moment
- Pia Zadora, The Lonely lady
- Madonna, Who's That Girl
- Whoopi Goldberg, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
- Julia Sweeney, It's Pat
- Juliette Binoche, The English Patient
- Kim Darby, True Grit
- Ali MacGraw, Love Story
- Shelley Long, Caveman
- Geena Davis, Cutthroat Island
- Cyndi Lauper, Vibes
- Faye Dunaway, Mommie Dearest
- Alyssa Milano, Kiss of the Vampire
- Kristy McNichol, The Pirate Movie
- Bette Midler, The Rose
- Raquel Welch, Myra Breckenridge