The Worm Eaters (1977) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski), with reader response
|I have to admit that I am lost on this project. I just don't know what to say. This is a project that was produced by the legendary Ted V Mikels, who gave the world Girl in Gold Boots and The Doll Squad. But there are two things which distinguish this film from those two:||
| 1. Those two
intended to be drama, but are so cheesy and illogical that they make
great unintentional comedies. The Worm Eaters tries to be funny.
Failed comedy is, by definition, not funny, because if it were funny
it would not be a failure.
2. Mikels didn't actually do much on this project. It was written by, directed by, and stars a triple-threat guy named Herb Robins. In fact, on the scale of triple-threat talents, Herb is up there with Orson Welles - except for the minor issue that Welles' three talents were actually in the fields of writing, acting, and directing, while Herb's were probably concentrated more in the types of skills that can be learned from schools where the application is on a matchbook cover.
An old German guy can communicate to worms. Greedy land developers threaten to take his property. He exacts Old Testament worm-related revenge on his enemies.
There you have it: the Citizen Kane of wormniverous entertainment.
Despite the fact that he had nothing to do with the movie, however, Ted Mikels provides what must be a truly expert feature-length commentary. I say "must be" rather than "is" because I'm not going to watch this again just to hear his incisive comments. I'm willing to give him "the benefit of the doubt", which is something I consider even more important than "partial credit", and which can be used as actual currency in any country in Europe where they say "ai-yi-yi" when they screw up.
But this movie is bad. Sum it all up as follows. Girl in Gold Boots is considered the 29th worst movie of all time by IMDb members, and this movie is far, far worse! This makes Girl in Gold Boots seem like Lawrence of Arabia.
Imagine a Troma Comedy. Now imagine if a bunch of high school kids got the script from that Troma comedy and decided to put it on as a school play. The most amazing thing about this movie is that nearly every character shouts every line - except for Herb Robins himself. He mumbles instead.
|I guess people who
would eat 99-cent shrimp cocktails wouldn't blanche at swallowing a
Sadly, all their protein ingestion was for naught, since the Golden Turkey Award went to Won-Ton-Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood, thanks to the dog's many public appearances during which he immediately got an erection whenever the TV cameras were turned on him, much like Bill Clinton. Robins and Mikels were left to cry, "Nobody likes us, everybody hates us, why don't we eat some... oops, nevermind. Been there, done that."
Just thought you'd like to know.
The Comedy Wire
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