Terror Tract (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
|Any film that stars John Ritter
and wrestler Marcus Bagwell is OK by me.
|This is one of those horror anthologies,
with a basic narrative overlay which stitches together
three unrelated stories. The shell story features Ritter
as a real estate agent trying to sell a house to a
newlywed couple. They are beautiful houses, way above
expectations, and the couple can't believe such
magnificence is affordable on their start-up budget, so
they want to know the "catch". Because of the
full disclosure laws, when the young people ask what
happened to the prior owners, Ritter must reveal the
gruesome stories that took place in the homes.
Erbe was seen naked from the rear in the
bathroom, clearly lit.
addition, her breasts were seen in a dark sex
|The stories themselves are also kind of
tongue-in-cheek, basically the same type of macabre
material that you'd see in "Tales from the
Crypt". The middle tale, about an dad who goes to
great lengths to get rid of a monkey that his daughter
wants to adopt, is the funniest story. The first tale,
about a husband who ends up dying when he tries to kill
his cheatin' wife, is the scariest. Let's just say that
death really doesn't slow him down that much.
Can you believe
it? this thing has its own web site. (www.terrortract.com)
aren't going to go out and rent this, so here's the funny
No DVD or tape currently
available from Amazon.
young people don't want a home with a past, so they won't
make an offer, but Ritter needs this sale to make some
quota. It appears that his boss will kill his wife and
son if he doesn't make the sale. Excellent incentive
program. The couple is sour on the whole neighborhood
because of all the stories they have heard. When the
young man refuses to make an offer, Ritter stabs him
repeatedly. The wife drives away in Ritter's car, and as
she drives through the neighborhood she notices that all
the houses have some grotesque activity in public sight -
severed limbs, mutilated pets, etc.
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters
score it 7.0, but that's based on a
whopping five votes, and I guess it will
drift back down somewhere in the 4's or
- With their
dollars ... I'm assuming this was
intended as a pilot for a cable series.
No theatrical release.
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a C-. So-so flick in
the genre of horror/comedy anthology,
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