Tease (1999) from Tuna and Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
Tease (1999) is a made for HBO film starring Rosanna Arquette, Jurgen
Prochnow and Mandy Schaffer which IMDB has named Poison, and doesn't
even mention the actual title. Shaffer is Arquette's daughter, and is
very possessive of her mother. She kills her father hoping her mother
will have more time for her. Arquette returns from winning an Oscar
for best supporting actress, and confesses to the killing so her
daughter won't suffer. While she is in prison for involuntary
manslaughter., Mandy latches on to her teacher, and gets the teachers
fiancee out of the way.
there is an extremely dark sex
scene (Mandy's art teacher and her boyfriend), and a couple
frames of exposure from Shaffer's body double - a clear butt
shot as she drops her towel , them an out-of-focus breast and
crotch as she climbs in.
| Arquette is released, picks up Schaffer, and heads to the vineyard she
has purchased with her partner, Prochnow. Schaffer still resents
anyone who spends time with her mother. The scenery is breathtaking.
Acting is very good. The plot is a little predictable, unfortunately.
From an exposure standpoint, the highlight is not nudity at all, but
pokies from young Schaffer. There is a double in a hot tub scene near
the end who shows buns and breasts (see image 17 for proof that she
had a wrap on). Her teacher is also nude in a sex scene that is too
dark to do anything with. This was evidently a German production.
I suspect some key
element was cut out of this film. The dead father, Michael des Barres,
is billed fairly prominently in the credits and the trailer, but his
role has been cut almost completely from the film. Perhaps an incest
angle? I don't know, but I didn't much like the movie. As a thriller -
so completely obvious that
even Miss Cleo could predict the ending. As a titillation film -
almost zero - bathing suits, a brief body double, and a very dark
scene with the art teacher.
The captain of Das
Boot is supposed to be playing a genius in this film, with an IQ "off
the chart". If he was that fucking smart, he'd have figured out a way
to get out of this movie.
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDB readers say 4.1 of 10
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a C-. Slow moving and
predictable effort, but the camera work and vineyard and water
settings give a reason to see it once.
(Scoop says: the only reason I can think of to see it is the
lead girl in her white bathing suit. The movie is supposed to be
plot-driven, but every twist is completely obvious. Very
disappointing, because HBO usually comes through. D)
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