(1998) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
What the hell happened to John Landis,
legendary director of The Blues Brothers and Animal House? First it
was The Stupids. Now this. This "comedy"
is really messed up.
- First of all, it centers around
cold-blooded murder for profit, and we follow the story of the
murderers. The victim is barely seen, but we are led to believe that
he deserved to die. Huh? Killing a guy we don't know isn't exactly as
involving as college kids getting harmless revenge on the incredibly malicious Dean Wormer. This is creepy.
- Second, the comedy leads aren't Tim
Matheson and John Belushi. Nope, they are those two well-known comic
cut-ups Billy Zane and Nastassja Kinski. Man, the laughs never stop comin' when those two are around. That Zane, what a jokester! WTF? I
guess Manson was in prison and they wouldn't let him out, so they had
to get Zane.
There are a lot of nude and sex
scenes. They are in crappy light, shot from silly angles, or
pass by too fast, but there are a lot of them. Kinski's topless
scene is so dark you can barely see. Boyle's doggie-style scene
with the doctor is about 10 frames in dark light, over before
you know it. Boyle's bath scene is entirely in motion, so she's
out of focus in the still captures. Thankfully, Boyle's scene
with the victim does show her off quite well. Christina Venuti
is also seen topless.
- Third, the level of humor involves
too many people hiding in a closet and one of them farts. And you
thought the Algonquin round table represented the apex of
- Fourth, when the movie ended, I
thought they were kidding. The credits started rolling and I
reversed to see if I missed anything. Then I forwarded to see if
there was more after the credits. Nothing. It just seems to end in
the middle of the movie.
- Fifth, all the main characters
that we have been following (one minor exception) end up either
brutally slain by gunfire or in prison awaiting the electric chair.
There's some wacky comic genius at work, eh? Those people that don't
get killed for real get killed in enactments of dream scenes.
By the way, Lara Flynn Boyle, as a
bimbo-for-hire, really is pretty funny in this, but she didn't get
- with their dollars ...
straight to Cinemax in the USA, but was shown theatrically
in 51 countries.
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a D. Not a very good or original
premise. Not very funny.
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