Segment One: Nancy and Nancy Nancy is surprised to see that her first guest is Nancy Bresser of Channel 5, and that unlike most guests, Bresser actually has a video! Bresser responds that she responded to an ad in Variety, "Nancy Wanted". Nancy quickly sees that this was an ad to replace her on the show, and that Bresser's video is actually an audition to take over as host. She wants to complain to the staff, but the announcer tells her there is nobody to complain to because she has fired them all.

Bresser's version of the show is in sharp contract to Nancy's. She is not "Nancy: The Abominable Showman", but "Nancy, the Consummate Showman". Bresser wears expensive designer evening clothes, sings, and introduces some of her guests: the Ayatollah and the Pope (who, through Bresser, hug and agree to work together), the Beatles Reunion with Julian Lennon in his dad's place, and Kevin Costner.

At the end, the crew members give her flowers and hugs. The adults ask if she will marry them. The youths ask her to be their mom.

Segment Three: Nancy and Nancy

The original Nancy is put out to say the least. She says "anybody could be good with those guests", and the announcer responds ..."that's the point. She got those guests through her own show biz contacts". Nancy asks, "why don't you try to get big stars on my show. The announcer responds "we did. We talked to Cosby, Sinatra, Streisand. They all agreed to come on ..... as soon as we got rid of you"

Her arguments exhausted, Nancy reaches into her purse, gets a gun, shoots Bresser, and introduces her next guest, Daffo the Clown

Segment Four: Daffo The poor clown is down on his luck in the job search and in his marriage. He's working as a department store Santa, and is having an affair with one of the elves.

Sugar Ray has brought a video ... a tape from his new one-man Broadway review. He's branched out from Elvis impersonations to other celebrities, but .... well, his Will Rogers is basically Sugar Ray twirling a rope ineptly, etc.

Segment Six: sports with Seymour Andtell Andtell reports the latest from the Pete Rose probe, in which Rose has had to defend himself against accusations that he was actually the son of Tokyo Rose. Related to the gambling charges, turns out that the guy at the betting window was not Rose, but Moe Howard of the Three Stooges, mistaken for Rose because of the haircut. Rose addresses the charges by saying that he never bet on live baseball games, only videotaped reruns, and he always lost, anyway.

Segment Seven: License Plates

Video taped segment on new state license plate slogans, like "Arizona, Come Here to Die"