Promos during the show for new shows on The Nancy Network Conan the Librarian Identical Nazis Limbo Police Seventh Seal, the Sitcom. Death challenges everyone to the Wheel of Fortune home game. Nancy's theatre for the dyslectic, featuring "Lap Joey" and "Annie, Get Your Nug". The Key Kyser Kollege of Musical Knowledge ... tuneful quiz show in the Florida sun.

Segment One: Ron St. Don This segment is interrupted by promo clips from the new shows on the Nancy Network. The show, as usual, is short of videos, and Ron St Don has agreed to bring in a video if he can discuss his hobby, which involves building ships in cans. This is much more difficult than building them in bottles, as it is impossible to see in there. He build "Old Ironside" inside an empty can of Diet Mountain Dew, spending four years of his life to assemble the 10,000 pieces. We tour his masterpieces, but all we can see is the outside of various food cans. Nancy drops the can containing "Ironside". After this, St. Don will not reveal where his video is. Nancy and Greg flip to see who gets to play "bad host", and Greg wins, so Greg beats Ron senseless, and Nancy the offers him a pillow, a cigarette, and milk 'n cookies. Finally, Ron admits that there was no tape.

Johnny Cruel, the punk rocker, has brought a video, but Nancy refuses to show it since it shows explicit sex, violence, and Satan worship. Cruel denies that he worships Satan, "a few goat sacrifices don't mean nothin. Me doctor put me on an all goat blood diet". He asserts that all this show biz Satan worship is a media fabrication and he doesn't know anybody in the music industry that worships Satan except possibly Julio Iglesias. Nancy is so distraught by this that she has her limo pulled in, and walks off the set.

Segment Three: Crew meeting

The crew decides to hold internal auditions for a new Nancy, in case their Nancy walks permanently. Nancy sneaks in, wearing a disguise, and auditions to be the new Nancy, but she is cut off immediately because she stinks. The auditions fail miserably, and they decide on two courses of action. First, they will place an ad in Variety for a new Nancy. Second, they will hold a telethon to get some new tapes. If they have enough videos, they don't need a host.

Segment Four: Telethon

Greg speaks on behalf of the Phil Rodgers Institute, alleging that "ushers will be passing through your living rooms with these cannisters" At the end, he tries to sing "You'll Never Walk Alone", but the emotion of the moment prevents him from finishing, and he sets the mike down.