Film One: Daffo the Clown, in Concert A filmed archive of some of the greatest performances of the legendary Daffo the clown. Daffo is clearly seen marking up a deck of cards. Daffo appears to be an excellent ventriloquist until it turns out that his "dummy", Laffo, is a live child. Daffo tries juggling "not those wimpy bowling pins and nerf balls, but real knives". He slices his hands to bits

A brilliant short promo for a movie that is itself a promo. It takes time for the audience to realize that the movie itself has no real content. Produced/directed by Richard Parker of Dallas.

Film Three: The Time Channel

A new venture from Nanceco Enterprises: The Time Channel. "Because you'll watch anything". Gives the time in many places, each presented by a representative of that locale in a distinctive local style. "In New Yawk it's 2:53 ... you got a problem wit dat?"

The theme of this show is "the worst", and it marks the first appearance of the character that became associated most closely with the show, Daffo the Clown. Daffo claims that he's really not that bad a clown, and that the professional clown rankings aren't fair since they're only based on laughter. Nancy asserts that this is not an unreasonable criterion with which to measure clowns, but Daffo claims that an exception should be made in his case since all his performances are in Libya, where laughter is forbidden as a tool of decadent Western/Christian capitalism.

Daffo is, in fact, the official state clown of Libya. After graduating from Klown Kollege in Sarasota ("the Harvard of pratfalls"), Daffo eschewed the normal clowning routes to the top when Libya offered him many times the starting clown wage to be its official State Clown. Since Libya is a socialized country, with socialized medicine and socialized humor, Daffo actually occupies a cabinet post. Although it is frustrating for him to work in a laughter-free environment, he feels that the money and the perks make up for it.(His family has their own hostage, and is well on the way toward being a two hostage family)

Segment Two: The MVP of the world's worst football game

This show aired live the week after the Super Bowl with the first Bud Bowl. Nancy interviewed "The Freezer", the quart bottle that led Bud to their victory over Bud Light. She stopped the interview after a couple minutes, finding it beneath even her minimal level of dignity to talk to a beer bottle with a microphone on it.

Segment Three: Greenbeard, the world's worst pirate

Although he has an eyepatch and parrot, he's actually a video pirate. Because he's a fugitive from the law, he's asked the director to distort his image. Nancy warns that the image is hideously deformed and could be frightening to young children. It is the face of Neil Diamond. Greenbeard did bring a video, but of course it's one he stole. When confronted with his plagiarism, he rants "of course I stole it. I'm a pirate. Pirates don't have a bloomin' Discover Card. When we want somethin', we steal it, me bucco, har, har."

Segment Four: Clem Eustis, the world's worst farmer

Clem can't figure out why he's so poor. His family can't ever seem to get out of the hole, through good years and bad. He raises mosquitos. He really had a tough year this year because of a drought, which wiped out most of the mosquitos. Although his "daddy and his daddy before him died in pauper's graves, and I don't have a pot to piddle in", Clem is happy as a mosquito farmer. They are much easier to feed than cattle, since all you have to do is roll up your sleeves. On the other hand, cattle are much easier to brand, and you always have to be vigilant against mosquito rustlers.

Clem doesn't have a video. He accidentally went to the wrong room, and he needs to leave to get to the taping of "Sunrise Farm Report"