After shooting and bribing his way to the lair of his archenemy, the dreaded Pokey, we find that Hammer has been hired to pick up a centerfielder for a little league game.

Film Two: Chunk Hammer, Teen Dick

As presented by Masterpiece Theater Junior, and hosted by Alistair Cooke, Jr. A teacher asks a student where his homework is. Student says "I lost it". What to do? Hire Chunk Hammer, Teen Dick to find it.

Film Three: Crime School Blondes on Broadway

A cerebral parody of the usual film noir plot. Instead of starting with a simple matter which turns into a global conspiracy, the hardboiled detective starts with an case involving the invasion of Florida and it turns out, after he gets beat up many times and gets all his friends and associates killed, it was all just about a missing laundry ticket. He wraps it all up like a present under this crazy Christmas Tree we call life. Movie features the legendary Buddy Mellow singing his lounge version of "Wooly Bully"

Nancy has hired a hardboiled detective to find the best home videos about hardboiled detectives. She gets irritated because, even though he did a good job on the case, he describes everything with bizarre metaphors, and refuses to address her directly, instead narrating his answer to the camera. "Mr. Marlowe, where did you find this?" "I told her that I found it in ...."

In the third segment he delivers his anti-smoking screed, as required by the network to permit him to be smoking in his character. He tells kids, "smoking is bad for your heart, your lungs, your ears, everything. It's nasty and wicked and don't smoke .... unless, of course, you want to look cool like me."