CAP'N SOMEBODY The video segments are all from a film produced and directed by Richard "Burvis" Parker of Dallas, Texas. The mythical town of Gravel, Indiana is host to a kiddie show entitled Captain Somebody and Timmy the Bear. Captain Somebody is a clueless egomaniac who won't even buy the disgruntled Timmy a bear costume. This is actually a funny film with many professional-level segments and performances.

• The amazing record offer of all Fawnly Conley's country hits, most of which involve cheap motels and Jesus.
• The ad for "Great Googly Moo", the orange flavored cheese drink.
• A visit from the Gravel Zoo director, who brings a dead rabbit.
• Uncle Dave the Singin' Mailman and lounge singer Buddy Mellow team with the Captain on "Cheese Wrestling, USA"
• The S/F serial "Plans 1 Through 8 From Outer Space" in which aliens plan to conquer the earth through such tactics as wearing umbrella hats or manipulating Hugh Beaumont.

Janos Milos (pronounced "Jim Jones" because of the unusual phonetics in the Czech alphabet) is alleged to be the real director of the Cap'n Somebody film. When Nancy challenges why a Czech film director would choose to film a kiddie show in Indiana, Milos responds that Captain Somebody is one of the most popular American stars in Europe, where tastes in American performers can vary from the American preferences, ala Jerry Lewis and David Hasselhof. Nancy is curious about primitive Czech TV, where "The Abominable Showman" is #2 in the rankings, right after "Our Friend, the Tractor". Milos responds that there are many stations and many shows, "Mostly for prevent disease, but also stories - serious stories and hilarities. Not many people knowing, but the Czechs is very funny guys. Not the women ... the women is all play tennis, but the men is very hilarity."

Segment Two: Sugar Ray Milland

Sugar Ray, the last white heavyweight boxer, and obviously the victim of too many punches, was in the film doing a PSA. In discussing Sugar's boxing career, Nancy notes that she heard he made it to the bell against Tyson. Sugar admits that he did, but that it was the opening bell, after which he passed out from sheer fright. This was quite a bit better than his bout against Ali, in which he passed out during the weigh-in. Sugar is now out of boxing and has become an Elvis impersonator. He likes it because, unlike his real academic career, he got pretty good grades in Elvis School. Although he took a C+ in "thank you very much", he aced Lip Curling. Currently, he is working in a Broadway revival of Fiddler on the Roof performed entirely by Elvis impersonators.

Segment Three: Jimmy the Bear

Jimmy is said to be the twin brother of Timmy the Bear, from the movie. Nancy is surprised because she thought "The Bear" was a stage name, and Jimmy points out that Timmy the Bear is obviously a pseudonym. Timmy's real name is Billy the Bear. Nancy asks if "the" isn't kind of a weird middle name, and Jimmy responds that they are Italian, and everyone in their family traditionally has "the" for a middle name, Jimmy the Weasel, Louie the Rope, etc.