Row Your Boat
from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
fairly sensitive grade-B with Jon Bon Jovi. Although the movie is
uninspired and predictable, Bon Jovi did a good job.
Bon Jovi plays a
gentle guy who has just been released from prison after serving a five
year stretch in which he refused to rat out his brother (William
Forsythe). Gee, there's something new, eh. It's part of the unwritten
code which says:
- movie heroes
coming out of jail never really "did it"
- and they never rat
out the guys who really did do it
After his release, he
is determined to go straight, and not to get back into his brother's
rackets. He doesn't even tell his brother about it when he's released
he finds that the honest life is really tough for an ex-con. For a
while, he actually lives on the streets and washes car windows at stop
lights, until one day when he chances to wash his brother's window. He
continues to refuse to accept money and crooked jobs from his brother.
Well, he mostly refuses, except when desperate.
||In the meantime, he
finds a job that even homeless ex-cons can get hired for: doing the
U.S. Census in crummy neighborhoods. For eight bucks an hour he gets
the right to deal with hostile street thugs, people who don't speak
English, and others who don't trust him. One of the foreigners is
lovely Bai Ling, playing a Chinese peasant girl who came to the United
Sates to be the bride of a successful older man who treats her like a
I think you can
figure out most of the the rest. Not
a bad film, not a good one. The film is unrated, but is probably in
the PG-13 range.
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters
score it 5.9, based on only 18 votes.
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a C-.
the Movie House home page