Row Your Boat (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

A fairly sensitive grade-B with Jon Bon Jovi. Although the movie is uninspired and predictable, Bon Jovi did a good job.

Bon Jovi plays a gentle guy who has just been released from prison after serving a five year stretch in which he refused to rat out his brother (William Forsythe). Gee, there's something new, eh. It's part of the unwritten code which says:

  • movie heroes coming out of jail never really "did it"
  • and they never rat out the guys who really did do it

After his release, he is determined to go straight, and not to get back into his brother's rackets. He doesn't even tell his brother about it when he's released early.

 But he finds that the honest life is really tough for an ex-con. For a while, he actually lives on the streets and washes car windows at stop lights, until one day when he chances to wash his brother's window. He continues to refuse to accept money and crooked jobs from his brother. Well, he mostly refuses, except when desperate.



DVD info from Amazon.

  • no widescreen

  • no meaningful features

In the meantime, he finds a job that even homeless ex-cons can get hired for: doing the U.S. Census in crummy neighborhoods. For eight bucks an hour he gets the right to deal with hostile street thugs, people who don't speak English, and others who don't trust him. One of the foreigners is lovely Bai Ling, playing a Chinese peasant girl who came to the United Sates to be the bride of a successful older man who treats her like a possession.

I think you can figure out most of the the rest.  Not a bad film, not a good one. The film is unrated, but is probably in the PG-13 range.

The Critics Vote

  • no major reviews

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 5.9, based on only 18 votes.
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C-.

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