Oasis of the Zombies
the Zombies (1983) is probably more interesting for the amount of
misinformation about it than for the plot or exposure. After Jean
Rollin was brought in to finish Zombie Lake and bail Jess Franco out,
Franco wrote a second Zombie film, where the Zombies are German
soldiers guarding $6m in gold.
|A college student and son
of the man who killed all of the Germans during the war discovers,
upon his father's death, that his mother was the daughter of a Sheik,
and also learns about the supposedly still hidden $6m.
|There is distant nudity from
France Jordan and Doris Regina. There is also good breast
exposure by an unidentified actress, possibly Myriam Landson.
|He takes a few classmates
and a professor to recover the gold. The Zombies nearly win, although
they crawl noisily out of the sand and attack at a snail's pace. The
film is every bit as bad as this sounds. We have a strong contender
for worst film here.
||There has been a running battle for
years as to whether this film is Franco's work or not. The confusing
stems from the fact that he did two films under different names, one
in Spanish and one in French, and had somewhat different casts in
each, although there is a lot of shared footage. This is the French
one, and is the version that many people claimed was not done by
Franco. Franco has now owned up to doing both. The IMDB entry is not
even close in terms of cast and versions. To the best of my knowledge,
the Spanish version is not currently available.
The DVD transfer is not bad, but is
not enough reason to watch a film this bad. I will say the Zombie
make-up had its moments.
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics - or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is an F.
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