Night Train to Terror is a horror trilogy. Each of the three stories
in this film has been edited down from a discrete full-length movie,
and the unrelated tales are tied together by some new footage
consisting of conversations between God and Satan on a doomed train. To pass
the time before the upcoming train wreck, The Biggest Kahuna and the Price of
Darkness are arguing over the souls of the people in each of the stories.
- The first story has been released as Marilyn Alive, or Behind
Bars, or Scream Your Head Off, and is about a bogus mental hospital
that kidnaps and drugs people, mostly women, then harvests their body
parts through some painful vivisection performed by Bull from Night
Court. A man is hypnotized into helping them recruit female victims
by seduction. When the powers-that-be forget his injection, he has a
change of heart. Nifty little ending to this one. Score one for God.
- The second section, originally titled The Death Wish Club, has a
young woman led into porn by a ruthless character. When a man visits
his old fraternity and sees one of her films, he must have her. He
tracks her down, and wins her heart, but her keeper is loath to let
her go. His solution? To get them into his favorite game, where
everyone puts themselves into a near-death experience. True love
wins out in the end. Score another for God.
- The third tale is an excerpt from Cataclysm, which had already
been re-edited into Satan's Supper and The Nightmare that Never
Ends. I don't know if any of the edits of this one made a lot of
sense, but this one does not, and is full of bad Claymation effects
A female doctor is charged with defeating a demon, Satan's eternally
youthful agent on earth, by cutting out his heart and trapping it in
a box made from the True Cross. This looks like the same box I used
to store my baseball cards, which explains why they were all
replaced one day with holy cards. All these years I had been blaming
my mom! The main story is complicated by sub-plots involving her
husband's denial of God, an elderly Nazi hunter after the same
immortal demon, and a determined policeman. God cheats in the end of
this one and grants everyone mercy, probably because He couldn't
follow the plot any better than we could.
Three strikes, Satan, you are outta here.
I feel that the shortening of each story, while causing some
confusion, probably helped this material, since there wasn't time for any
segment to get boring enough to spoil the intrinsic bad movie vibe.
During the cutaways to the framing story, a bad rock band plays
their one and only song again and again, repeating "dance with me,
dance with me" ad infinitum while breakdancers gambol and cavort
around them, 80s MTV style. These entertainers are also passengers on
the night train to terror, one car down from Jehovah and Lucifer.
Since everyone in the MTV crowd will die in the upcoming wreck, God
and Satan debate the rockers' afterlife destination. Given the quality of the song, and the fact that the
singers and breakdancers are a bunch of wusses wearing headbands and leg warmers, I vote with Satan on this one.
Despite their irritating music, we are just a bit touched by the
fact that the musicians will all die, simply because they weren't even
supposed to be on the Night Train to Terror. The station agent left
his hearing aid home that evening, and they asked for tickets on the
Night Train to Terre Haute.
Such is Kismet.
- Check out the
IMDb page for the guy who allegedly plays Satan.
(God plays himself!) According to
amazon.com page, both God and Satan are
actually played by veteran character actor
Cameron Mitchell, who remains uncredited for those roles, but also
appears in a credited role in one of the segments.
- All of the actresses have multiple credits at IMDb, but are all actually
for this same film in different incarnations.
- The guy who played "Bull" on Night Court appears in
two of the three segments.