May (2002) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

"If you can't find a friend, make one instead".

So says May's mother when she passes on a family heirloom to her daughter.

May's mother knows what May's lonely childhood is like, because she was once lonely as well. Back in her own chlldhood, mom coped with loneliness by learning to make things. In her ultimate creation, she made herself a friend - the doll that she passes on to her daughter in the prologue of this film, with the words above.

May's lonely girlhood, cursed by a "lazy eye" eyepatch, passes into lonely young adulthood, but we really don't know at first just how strange she is. The first three quarters of this film are similar to Ghost World, an introspective look at "outsider chic", centered on May's attempt to find friendships with men and women, some of whom come close to her, only to repel her or to be repelled for various reasons.

One handsome guy likes her, and the conversations go like this:

She: Do you like me?

He: Yes, of course, I like you.

She: Do you think I'm weird?

He: (Hesitant, unsure of how much truth to tell.) I do think you're weird (She turns away ...) But I like weird. A lot.

(They watch his student film together, in which people having sex actually chew off each other's both parts. They then attempt sex, and she tries to bite off his tongue)

He: Hey, I need my tongue.

She: But it was just like in your movie.

He: You're weird.

She: I thought you liked weird.

He: I do, but not THIS weird.

And so it goes for 60 minutes or so ... May tries out lesbianism, but that doesn't work either. Anna Faris (from Scary Movie) was quite entertaining as the sex-crazed lesbian who talks and thinks exactly like a guy in her approach to women. She seduces May with such lines as - "why don't you come to my place some time? We can sit around and ... eat some melons."

Then the psychological comedy/drama becomes a horror/splatter movie. May can't find a friend, so she decides to make one instead. Literally. In the Dr. Frankenstein sense. She's an expert at making things with a sewing machine, so she sews together a friend.

The film makes one more turn at the very end, when it abandons straight "giallo slasher/horror" as well as "psychological comedy drama", and ventures into the supernatural. Odd stuff.


None. Angela Bettis offers significant pokiosity when she appears brales.

This movie is quite well crafted, virtually an homage to Dario Argento, but I guess you have figured out by now that it is not for everyone. Back in 2002, there was a plan to release this film theatrically. It was tested in three markets, one of which was here in Austin. The film got some pretty damned good reviews from its test run and a couple of film festivals, including Sundance 2002. The internet genre sites love it. It scores a 7.9 at IMDb, which is about as high as an unknown genre film can possibly go. (Kubrick's The Shining is 8.1, Silence of the Lambs is 8.5) .....

But there was no interest from the public, and the theatrical release was forgotten.

not yet available on Region 1 DVD

Bottom line: you now know what it is about. If you like very black humor and splatter, you will probably enjoy this, based on the reactions of others who enjoy offbeat movies. If you have mainstream tastes, it isn't for you.

The Critics Vote

  • No major reviewers talked about it, but it got a VERY solid reception from the genre specialty sites on the internet. JoBlo (8/10), Film Threat (4/5),  and Arrow in the Head (3.5/4) praised it greatly.

The People Vote ...

  • Screened at some film festivals. Tested briefly in three markets, then abandoned.


The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this film is a C+. A cult film. Much admired by genre lovers, this is a slick niche film for a very small niche.

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