Luckytown (aka Luckytown Blues) (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna
thumbs way the hell down for this piece of detritus.
Why did Kirsten Dunst make this movie?
Let me ask a more relevant question. Why did they hire her to play this part? She portrays the highly dreaded movie cliche, the fully-dressed stripper. Oh, maybe it isn't that stupid. You see, she's a good kid, in Vegas to meet her long-lost dad, and she needs money to live. She agrees to strip, but when the time comes all she can do is spin around the pole in her underwear, and the crowd boos her, and ..... never mind, I take it back, it is that stupid.
In all fairness, I should mention that Louis Guzman is wonderful in this in a complex characterization of a low-rent hit man who is basically a decent guy, even through he really loves killing. The rest of the film stinks worse than a dead mouse stuck behind the ice cream freezer at Circle K.
|The plot starts off with a
bang. Get this.
Dunst's beloved daddy ran off when she was just a young'un. Now she's 18, living in East Scumbag, Oklahoma, and she just has to meet her daddy, and see why he abandoned his family. So she heads off to Vegas, which is where he is supposed to be.
She ends up driving there with a video clerk that she picks up because she assisted the schmuck after someone pointed a gun at him at the store. (It could happen). It turns out that he also wants to go to Vegas (OK, it could happen). You see, even though he's only about 12 years old, he thinks he's a world-class poker player, (hey, it could happen) and he wants to go to Vegas to take on the very best player in the world.
|Now, are you ready for
your quiz? Here's the beauty part. The poker player he wants to beat,
and Dunst's daddy are ...
(all together now)
... the same guy! (Jimmy Caan)
Hey, it could happen.
Hoo, boy, Vegas is not exactly like their dreams. For one thing, it's so confusing to them because everyone in town is named Tony. Kirsten goes to work for Big Tony in the strip joint, but Big Tony has this feud going on with Old Tony (who is actually Kirsten's long-lost dad), so he sends two hit men, Little Tony and Fat Tony, to whack Old Tony. Even Siegfried and Roy are actually named Tony Bouffant and Blond Tony. Oh, poor Kiki, how can you ever find the right Tony?
They have some public shoot-outs in hotel rooms and strip joints, the kind of Vegas action that keeps the old tourists from Boca coming back again and again. Kirsten learns some valuable lessons and shit, especially when Old Tony and Big Tony kill each other in front of her. I forget exactly what she learned, but it did help her to stop smoking.
Tuna's comments in yellow:
Luckytown (2000) stars Kirsten Dunst as a girl who turns 18 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and decides to head for Vegas to locate her father. He name should probably have been dunce for this role. The film opens with her in her bedroom playing her music too loud and packing to leave home. When her mother shouts for her to turn down the music, she opens the door so she can fight with mom while packing. She stops at a mini-mart and picks up her high school crush, who supposedly was headed for a major league pitching job, even though he is skinny and about 5' 4" (Scoop's note: I believe he intended to spoil Eddie Gaedel's unique claim to be the only midget ever to appear in a major league game. This guy is taller, but Gaedel looked more powerful. Not to mention a lot more masculine.) until he dropped out of High School to become a poker player. Now 18, he works the night shift selling booze and adult movies.
The boyfriend is nearly shot over a gambling debt, and Dunce peels out of the parking lot like Mario Andretti, then loses control of the car later on a highway. They hit Vegas, and she entrusts her entire fortune to the 18 year old compulsive gambler, then takes a job as a stripper in a club she is not old enough to enter. She chickens out, and sits down on stage. Then, in a final act of brilliance, throws a lit cigarette, then her entire pack, out the window.
|Follow any character through this mess and their actions will seem just as bright. Jennifer Gereis, for instance, is seen with a red wig in a restroom shooting drugs into her inner thigh. Her red panty crotch is clearly visible. When they shot the following scene where she betrays James Caan, Dunst's daddy, she didn't remember to wear the same skivies, and the red panties have morphed into a black thong. Most of the film was too dark, whenever they didn't know what to do next, they ran stock footage of Vegas neon, and their best effect was turning a spinning roulette wheel upside down. Why? Ask them, I have no idea. There were some good performances, but nothing could have saved this script.|
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