Lady in Blue (1992) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

As I watched "Lady In Blue". I was amused to hear Kira Reed mispronounce so many words in the opening monologue.

My two favorites: 

"quallum" (rhymes with Gollum) . She was trying to pronounce "qualm". There are a few ways to pronounce it , but no standard one includes an "l" sound, and none involve two syllables

  1. kwahm (rhymes with CD-ROM)
  2. kwawm (rhymes with Somerset Maugham)
  3. kwalm (same as number 1 above, but with an 'l' sound - becoming accepted in the USA)

"oogling". This is one of the more mispronounced words in America. Many people pronounce "ogle" to rhyme with Barney Google, as Kira did here. It is correctly pronounced "o-gling" with a long 'o', or ogg-ling, with a short 'o', but never oo-gling.


Surprisingly little for a softcore film. Mostly close-ups of body parts. Very vew good looks at anyone except Kira Reed. No pubes appear at all, from anybody.

The three actresses providing nudity (breasts mostly) are 

  • Kira Reed
  • Jyl Dillon
  • Kimberly Blair


And Kira doesn't even have goo-goo-goog-a-lee eyes!

The film kept mining in that vein,  and is riddled with such statements as, "we were hot, so we commenced with the small talk, and went straight to the sex".

Script by Satch Mahoney.


The basic plot: Kira is a police detective trying to find out why somebody shot a plumber in the butt. She's also trying to forget about her last lover, Dick, "but I just can't get Dick out of my mind".  At the end of the movie, she loses her job, and doesn't get Dick.

It's not awful, but not a very good titty film.

no current region 1 DVD info
  • Weak on plot (by the end you can't even remember what the point is).
  • Equally weak on exposure. Not very titillating, with the few good scenes destroyed by a grainy DVD transfer.
  • The dialogue and interior monologues are the best elements of the film. The film attempts to establish a cynical, literate veneer, and to deliver the film tongue-in-cheek as if aloof from itself and in on the joke. There is some fairly good humor, and Kira handles the funny lines pretty well in general, but the film doesn't really have a cast with the timing and style to pull it off consistently.

The Critics Vote

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The People Vote ...

IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a D+. Even if you are into titty films, this is is sub-par, although the basic idea wasn't bad.  It doesn't deliver enough flesh to please on that front, and it doesn't have enough other assets to carry your attention. Strangely structured, for example, the opening monologue doesn't end until something like 8 or 9 minutes into the film!

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