Guns & Lipstick  (1995) from Tuna

This film, aka No Goodbyes, has never been released anywhere, as near as I can tell. There is a trailer on the DVD, but it is a direct to vid.

It is a PI/cop/crime thriller starring Sally Kirkland as the PI. She is a former cop, down on her luck with very little business, one loyal friend still on the force, hated by the new police chief, and with a bar owner for a friend. To complete the cliche, the bar is her hangout. Life is looking up when a stripper hires her to protect her from someone she claims wants to kill her. Kirkland is asked to stake out the inside of the strip club. Unfortunately, on the first night, someone else kills her client, and the cops blame her.


Kirkland has a nipple slip, one of the strippers (Tanya Munoz) has a lengthy scene being questioned by Kirkland where she shows breasts and buns, and several strippers in the club also show breasts and buns.
I am not even going to try and explain the plot, because it would take 90 minutes. The thing that first struck me about this film was the number of cliches it included, including corrupt LAPD cops, a Chinese Mafia boss, a gentle Kung Fu expert with a body builder physique, kidnapping, gunfights, Australian bad guys, and even a chase scene on horseback. The film's crowning achievement occurred during this chase scene. Kirkland jumps off her horse. One of those chasing her, at full gallop, says, "Her horse is riding light. She must have jumped off." In addition to all of the familiar plot elements, there were some fascinating minor characters. My personal favorite was the women who ran a safe haven for friends of the Chinese Mafia boss. She kept them in line with a wicked looking sawed off shotgun, when she wasn't too busy feeding bread to her imaginary chickens.

DVD info from Amazon.

  • widescreen anamorphic (1.85)

So was it terrible and derivative? Derivative definitely, but I watched it to the end without fast forward, was engaged in the plot, was far too busy keeping up to look for plot holes, and cared about some of the characters at the end. So, in the final analysis, I was entertained. That is about all I ask of a thriller.  

The Critics Vote

  • no reviews online

The People Vote ...

  • IMDB summary. there are not enough IMDb voters for a score
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C.

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