|I've often wondered
how the runner-up handles the ongoing pressure for the next year after
the pageant. I
mean she has to be ready to assume the title at a minute's notice. It
could be six months after the contest. She's in Egypt walking through
the pyramids, when her beeper goes off. For some reason, Miss Daffodil
is no longer able to bear the onerous mantle of infinite responsibilities, and
they need the runner-up to take over. Not to worry. Air Force One is
on its way to pick her up for a Safeway opening in Tupelo. That's your
tax dollars at work.
Andrzej Bartkowiak is a good cinematographer, numbering among his credits such
competent films as The Devil's Advocate. He's now directed two movies: Romeo Must
Die and Exit Wounds.
Exit Wounds is basically a
compilation of every action movie cliché ever devised, with a few
created just for the new Millennium.
African-American dot.com millionaires
use their profits to do high-tech surveillance and expose crime in
official circles. Big Steve doesn't use computers, but every once in a
while the computer boys need to shoot someone or punch someone, and
they just don't sound that impressive when they shout "hi-ya" in their
squeaky voices while wearing their horn rimmed glasses, so they need
some muscle. Enter Big Steve.
DVD info from Amazon.
Behind-the-Scenes Documentary The
Making of Exit Wounds
DMX Ain't No
Sunshine Music Video
anamorphic format, 2.35:1
Seagal is the usual renegade cop who
does things his own way and refuses to play department politics.
When the U.S. Vice-President is threatened in Steve's
streets, he blows up a few bridges, wrecks a few helicopters, and
throws the Veep into a river to save him from terrorists. When
the commissioner, having seen every episode of McCloud, chews
Steverino out for grandstanding, he says "I saved his life",
and lights his matches on the commissioner's belt buckle, and blows
some smoke into Hillary Clinton's face. Needless to say, Big Steve is
soon busted down to traffic cop, where he is soon in trouble for
roughing up some fourth graders who are running a lunch money scam.
Thank God that Steve is a tough cookie, and can sometimes handle as
many as three fourth graders at once, even if they have their cub
scout knives, so he's promoted back to a real job, and the kids can
thank him that their cafeteria will always be a little safer. As will,
I'm sure, cafeterias everywhere.
The last 30 minutes of the film is
just one long chase and shoot-out. I'm not saying it's a bad piece of
action, but if
a half-hour of auto wrecks, explosions, and gunfire is not your thing, you may want
to take a pass on this one.
|Actually for a
Seagal flick, this was pretty good, one of his best.
Who cares! All
Seagal movies are the same. He's some kind of "supercop" that
hits everything he shoots with the first bullet, he breaks a ton
of arms and even more rules, and is not only friendly with, but
loved by whatever minority culture is featured in the film.
So what's best in
supporting cast deserves all of the credit for making this
- While hip
hop artist/actor, DMX does a little too much "pouting for
camera", he's not that bad. With better direction who knows
what he could do.
Hennessy of "Law and Order" and "Crossing Jordan" was miscast,
but turned in a fine performance.
- Michael Jai
White (the guy who played Spawn) was very good. In fact his
character was the only one with more than one dimension
(although the script limited him to 1.5 dimensions. Maybe 2
with luck) Why isn't he a bigger action star?
- As Scoop has
mentioned, a little Tom Arnold used the right way can be very
effective. Such is the case with "Exit Wounds". He played a
Morton Downey Jr-esque local TV celeb, and provided very good
comic relief. In fact, while the credits role, Arnold and
fellow comic reliever, Anthony Anderson do a great improv bit!
I laughed out loud several times as they did about 5 minutes
of an "interview" from Arnold's character's tv show.
What else is
- The new
Seagal. Thankfully...for the first time in several films,
a)cut off his pony tail and b)stopped running around in damned
Davey Crockett buckskins!
photography! For director Andrzej Bartkowiak, this was only
his second time in the big chair. However, he has very
impressive credits with regards to his work as a
Cinematographer and Director of Photography! The only downside
is that they ended up with a lot of cheap and/or small sets,
so his skills were wasted most of the time.
- The nudity.
Fortunately for us, Bartkowiak's photography skills were put
to excellent use in the one place that matters the most! The
nudity comes from Shannon Jobe and Kym Kristalie. I have no
clue which is which, but I kinda
like the brunette :-). They play topless dancers who are covering
each other with body paint in a well lit and very colorful
- The DVD
transer is very good.
two stars. BBC 3/5, Apollo 47/100
summary. 35% positive overall, only 20% from the
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters
score it 5.8.
- With their
dollars ... it has grossed $50 million as I write this.
Cost $33 million to make. Released on a blockbuster-level
2800 screens, so the studio had even greater expectations.
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, I will
score this a C-. $33 million worth of production values, but
still a below-average action pic. If you are a genre addict,
it's watchable. I liked the first hour. If you aren't a genre
fan, it will seem like nothing but 90
minutes of car chases and gunfire.