The Creeps (1997) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Full Moon Productions has turned out more than 40 features, and you've probably never heard of any of them. I suppose the total cost of the forty films is less than the cost of Kate Winslet's snack table in Titanic. They specialize in low budget horror, fantasy, and science fiction, and their tongues are usually buried deep in their cheeks.

To their credit, they produce bad movies that are fun to watch, and sometimes have some very good moments. They tend to get a pretty good bang out of their zero budgets. Think of them as Troma without the carnage.

In this particular film, a mad scientist devises a scheme to bring evil literary characters to life, presumably to do his bidding. In the process of creating the intricate web of mathematical calculations, art deco equipment, and virgin sacrifices necessary for his scheme to work, his sacrificial maiden cuts out before all the lightning gets into the machines, and he ends up with two slight problems: 


Kristin Norton was topless when she was strapped to the official Dr Frankenstein life creation machine.

1. His first slight problem is that his problems are slight. Because of the untimely interruption of his plan, he does manage to create his evil characters, but they are only three feet tall.

2. His second problem is that his evildoers, being - well, evil, aren't really into that whole thing of doing somebody else's bidding. They really prefer their own bidding, when push comes to shove, especially Dracula, who is an especially feisty little fellow.

The film isn't really scary. It doesn't really try to be. The scenes that aren't outright comedy go for a sense of high camp. I enjoyed some of the comedy in this, for example: (1) in the library where the mad scientist stole the first edition Frankenstein, the head lesbian librarian masturbates by rubbing herself with a first edition of Jane Eyre. (2) Mad Doctor to Dracula  - "are you ready to fix this experiment, or do you want to go through eternity carrying around a step-stool to bite people in the neck?"


It's basically a marginally watchable lowbrow horror comedy, kind of a grade C version of Bordello of Blood (assuming Bordello itself is already a B picture) . Unfortunately, the low-rent detective is many, many levels below Dennis Miller, and the woman who plays the lead is incredibly irritating and totally untalented. They really need to dump her from their Full Moon repertory company, but I'll tell ya what, the guy who plays Dracula is a good actor (he's been in several real movies, like Willow), and takes the part perfectly seriously. He really stole the show, and his deadpan performance was completely appropriate to this context. He's one of the few little people in show business who are excellent legitimate dramatic actors, as opposed to props.  

DVD info from Amazon.

  • fullscreen

  • making-of featurette

  • 90 minutes of trailers!

The DVD is an excellent package. There is no widescreen version, which is a disappointment, but there is an excellent film on "the making of The Creeps", and the flip side of the DVD contains nearly 90 minutes of trailers, from every film Full Moon has ever made. I watched that in fast forward, and was surprised to see that they made some films with genuinely chilling moments - involving such familiar horror staples as evil toys coming to life, to be sure, but kinda creepy.

I enjoyed this silly DVD enough that I'm going to catch a couple more of their films! It's only rated 3.3 at IMDb, and it is bad, to be sure, but it's one of those bad movies that can be entertaining. 

The Critics Vote

  • General consensus: three stars. Ebert 3/4, Berardinelli 3/4, Apollo 77.

  • Rotten Tomatoes summary. Four articles on file

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 3.3 . That score is accurate, in a way, but so humorless!
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C-. Actually a surprisingly entertaining zero budget film. Some bad performances and dull spots, as you might expect, but overall a quite watchable horror comedy. 

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