If you follow the box office updates weekly on
OtherCrap.com or elsewhere, you are
familiar with this film, which just opened in theaters three weeks ago and is
still playing on a smattering of screens as I write this.
How it got into theaters is a mystery ranking with the disappearance of
College is a purely formulaic film genre film like any you might see on the
straight-to-DVD shelves. The script could have been
created with Mad Libs. High school seniors ... lead actor gets dumped by his
girl ... he and two nerdy friends go to a nearby college for a weekend
introductory tour ... while there, they are tortured by obnoxious frat guys
... meet some chicks ... more torture ... get revenge ... back to high
school ... lead actor refuses to take back the incredibly hot chick who
dumped him, because he has grown.
The film does not have a single original idea, character, or joke. Frankly, it
didn't even have any good stale jokes. The cast features neither established
stars nor anyone you are likely to recognize. It's an obvious straight-to-vid
product which is not even above the norm for those, but
somehow, inexplicably, it got a very wide theatrical release. The man who sold this
into 2100 screens must be the greatest persuader since the guy who said
"Sure, Napoleon, conquering Russia will be a peace of cake."
Hell, Napoleon's Grand Armee got
a free skate compared to this film. At the box office, it was a stinker for
the ages. Among all films released in at least 2000
theaters, it had the
opening weekend in history, which was the worst of 2008. Well, to be
technical, it was the worst of the year in terms of total gross dollars, but another
notorious stinker, The Rocker, actually did a bit worse in terms of revenues
per theater. Call it a draw. Those two films came out on back-to-back weeks, so
one glorious ten day
period in late August of 2008 produced two of the worst financial performers
of all time.
There's just nothing worthwhile to say about this film. It's rated 3.8 at
IMDb, and that tells the story accurately, if a bit generously. Despite the
film's universal presence, the top critics generally ignored it, and those
who did reviewed were unkind. If the
film's basic idea sounds good to you,
rent The Naked Mile (aka American Pie 5) and watch that instead, because it
has the same basic idea, but a better script, more nudity, better nudity, and
some nudity from the main female characters.