Candy (1968) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna
comments in white:
Candy (1968) is a sex farce. As you would expect, it stars an attractive but unknown actress with no experience, no acting ability, and an annoying Swedish accent. The plot loosely chronicles her journey of sexual discovery, which includes being attacked or produced by an increasingly odd assortment of older men. My personal favorite was the dwarf hunchback burglary boss. Candy is played by Ewa Eulin, who won Miss Sweden, and went into modeling.
What makes this film unusual, you ask?
|The men who attacked/seduced Candy were played by Richard Burton, Walter Matthau, Marlon Brando, Ringo Star, John Astin, Charles Aznavour, and James Coburn. Each of them got their very own 10 minutes to overact.||
|Candy is adapted from a
book by Terry Southern, which was a satirical send-up of Voltaire's
Candide. The book was something of a cult classic and very 60's. Why
mainstream Hollywood decided to make a porno is a mystery, The biggest
problem is the running time. It weighs in at 115 minutes, definitely a
heavyweight time. Unfortunately, it has a middleweight amount of plot
For those interested in the history of sex in cinema, this is a must own. For those looking for an entertaining film, this is probably not your first choice.
Scoop's comments in yellow:
I was kinda surprised when Tuna didn't like this, because I remembered it as an amusing piece of camp from my college days. I guess you had to be there, because he was right, it just ain't much good.
It's a shame, too, because they had a raunchy tongue-in-cheek book to work from, and each individual scene had some promise which was ultimately unfulfilled, because they let the scenes drag on long after the jokes were over.
Richard Burton is a lecherous drunken Welshman (boy, there was a stretch for Dick, eh?), a poet whose work has been condemned in 27 civilized countries as well as 14 emerging nations. Despite this set of circumstances, he's been chosen to speak at a high school. That's one courageous administration. The funniest gag is that his hair and scarf are always blowing in the wind, inside or out. Sounds pretty funny, doesn't it? The premise is great, but the execution is awful. A scene that should have lasted two minutes is stretched out for god knows how long, including a scene where Burton slurps up some spilled alcohol from the floor of his limo, shot from under the car, using a glass floor.
Pretty much every scene goes on like that, with some ludicrous overblown generally offensive racial or professional stereotype being deliberately overacted by a popular actor at the time. Tuna recited the list above. In each case, there was a pretty solid premise which took a hard shot at a societal sacred cow (military, medicine, education, religion), and demonstrated that no matter how educated a man is, no matter what profession he is in, everything he does or says is just a scam to get laid.
Which, of course, is pretty much true.
But it doesn't need to be repeated again and again.
|Ewa Aulin was
atrocious in this role, as Tuna mentioned, but she was a virtual Helen
Hayes compared to Ringo Starr. Ringo's performance in this film, as a
Mexican gardener, is certainly a valid nominee for the worst
performance ever recorded in a motion picture since Edison started to
develop the format. It is acting as bad as Bill Shatner's
singing. There is simply no way to describe it. It would be
racially offensive to Mexicans, except that there is no way to
identify it as a Mexican except that the script says it is. Ringo
apparently was told that he was supposed to play an alien, and he
thought they meant the outer space kind.
As for Ewa, she had a strange career that saw her co-starring with Burton and Brando in this film at age 18, on top of the world, yet completely out of show business (as she deserved to be) by the time she was 23. She is still a fairly young woman (only 51), and I suppose she is now working in a Shell select store in Skåne, waiting for her big comeback to commence.
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