Big City Blues (1999) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna
thumbs way, way, way down. This movie is coyote bad, meaning that if
you were forced by law to turn your thumb up or down, you'd chew off
your thumb rather than watch it.
Scoopy's comments in white
OK, I'll describe a film, you tell me which one it is. Two hit men are driving along in a car, headed for a job. Instead of discussing murder and gangster stuff, they are discussing real estate, settling down with a family, fast food and religion. One of the hit men is played by an actor who used to be the biggest box office star in Hollywood, and is now making a comeback. Later in the movie, two of the main characters are captured by homosexual perverts who bind them in S&M devices.
|Your guess? No, Pulp Fiction is wrong. The movie is the immortal "Big City Blues", and the former mega star isn't John Travolta, but Burt Reynolds. This proves, one again, that if there were no Quentin Tarantino, we would have to invent him.||
|You've read many
reviews where the reviewer said the movie was almost unwatchable,
right? Usually the reviewer was speaking figuratively. But not this
time. This movie is unwatchable. It is so dark that you can't tell
what is going on, and three times it literally goes black. I'm
guessing that they mishandled the negative or shot it wrong, or
something, and then tried to cover it up with some additional dialogue
where the characters notice that the lights went out.
In other words, this is a really, really, bad movie. Really bad. Think about "From Hell It Came", "Leonard, Part 6", and those Count Yorga movies from Mexico. Think about the fact that if all other movies were like this, Kevin Costner would win best director every year.
Not to mention best actor.
Georgina Cates was the best thing about the movie, and she got naked. If it had been in better light, that could have been enough for me to forgive the movie quality. At least you can tell it's a woman.
| Tuna's comments
Big City Blues (1999)
stars Burt Reynolds and William Forsythe as hit men, Georgina Cates as
a stripper, and Giancarlo Esposito and Roger Floyd as cross dressers.
The film switches between the characters during one crazy Miami night
that ends with them all in the same place. Think To Wong Foo, Thanks
for Everything, Julie Newmar meets Pulp Fiction, but with none
of the good parts of either film. The director claims it is an
edgy comedy. Maybe so, but it lacks both edge and humor. Fortunately
for Reynolds, the entire film is very dark. Not seeing his face most
of the time helped him play a hit man, but it is decidedly not his
sort of role.
Return to the Movie House home page