Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold(s) (1995) from Tuna and Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
Tuna's comments in white
Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995) is a badly acted titty flick now available on DVD.
Three women are vying for centerfold of the year with a spoof of the bunnymag, complete with a letch founder. J.J. North (as Angel Grace) tries to get a leg up on the competition by taking another beautification serum treatment. The treatment causes her to grow to 60 feet tall. The Hef character, of course, wants to exploit her. Her competition is played by Raelyn Saalman and Tammy Parks. Tammy gives a fair performance as a selfish bitch. Nikki Fritz is the best thespian in the cast as Hef's jealous girl friend. All 4 women show robo-hooters.
|This was an incredible waste of an idea. What kind of man, for instance, would it take to satisfy a 60 foot woman? The perfect put-down of the Hef character would have been to have him try it. And I am sure they could have found no end of mischief for a woman that large. IMDB readers say 3.0/10, with may be way too high. Technically, the film is also bad. Much of the footage is supposedly photo shoots. You would think they could get little things like color saturation, contrast and focus right in idea sound stage conditions. Most of the film is slightly out of focus as well. D||
comments in yellow
Tuna nailed it exactly right. It's a good premise for s sex comedy, but they had a poor script, poor performing, and it was technically poor as well. I mean it's supposed to be titillating - jiminy, at least get the sucker in focus and get the lighting right! The girls are attractive, but their skin is often orange and their faces always seem to be fuzzy, all of which detracts from the sexiness.
| To get a handle
on the quality, imagine, if you will, if the lads on F Troop had
encountered a 60 Foot Woman or two. they would have had the same
results as here:
1. The acting mostly consisted of mugging and doing pratfalls.
2. The jokes were at the Catskills level.
3. The sixty foot woman was constantly changing sizes. (When they battled in the city, the two big gals were the same height as three story buildings - maybe 35 feet. At other times, they were much larger.)
4. The doctors who created the large woman also created a large rat in their lab. That rat was obviously played by a midget in a rat suit. A really cheap rat suit.
5. The large woman effects were all be done with cheap-ass chroma-key effects or lame computer overlays.
6. They filmmakers apparently didn't even know the name of their own movie. The title card says "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds" (plural), even though the film has always been marketed and listed as "Centerfold" (singular). (There actually were two of them, if it makes any difference)
7. I think this even starred some of the same people as F Troop. if you ever wonder what happened to such 60's icons as Russ Tamblyn and Tommy Kirk, look no farther. They are both in this film.
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